#MondayChuckles 8

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5 of the best things to eat in Bangalore, India

This is not a comprehensive list of anything, really. Just food that I will really, really miss if I ever end up leaving Bangalore.

Fries,
Tall, Blonde, French,
Koramangala

The place is quite literally a hole in the wall (right off JNC road) that sells ONLY fries and thick shakes. NOTHING healthy about it. But man oh man, the fries are so. damn. good. I’m salivating just writing about it. Average pricing, convenient packaging, lots of options for vegetarians too, AND cute guy at the counter. What more do you really need?

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P.S: Thank you for introducing me to this particular bit of heaven, Sanda.

Funky Monkey Waffles,
Hole Lotta Love,
Koramangala

Crisp, slightly salty waffles with caramelized bananas, syrup, chocolate chips, condensed milk, Nutella, and chocolate sauce. If that is too decadent/too sweet for you, take your negativity elsewhere 😛

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I love the rest of their food too, never have I eaten anything bad or even average here.

Breakfast,
Here & Now,
HSR layout

My standard order is the Vegetably Yours breakfast platter (which I eat in the evening usually #TEAMBREAKFASTFORDINNER). It has soya thingamajig, baked beans, mushrooms, and the works. There is also this shakshouka they do, SOOOOO good. Both certified tasty by even meat-eaters.

They have (whatfeelslike) three million other options as well (more so for meat eaters), all of which are made consistently well. You really can’t go wrong. I know I will be inconsolable when I have my last meal there.

1) I love my carbs, exhibit A. I can wax eloquent on how this is the perfect toast and how al dente pasta is the ONLY way to cook pasta. You can talk to me into giving up any food group, except carbs. Don’t even try. 2) If you haven’t tried papaya jam, what you even doing, bruh? It may sound gross but, trust me (I’m a convert). [50/365] . . . . . . . . . . . #project365 #foodporn #foodiesofindia #carblover #nothingisordinary #myfab5 #f52grams #dailyfoodfeed #lovefood #eatingfortheinsta #flatlay #spoonfeed #huffposttaste #infatuation #buzzfeast #feedyoursoull #cheatmeal #tastingtable #forkyeah #heresmyfood #eater #eattheworld #foodandwine#foodblogfeed #foodandwine #still_life_gallery #buzzfeedfood #rslove #focalmarked

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Food,
Eat.fit (delivery only)

They are my every day food saviors, its not even funny. You order ANYTHING, it will be yum. Right from sandwiches, to Asian curries (I don’t generally like Asian food *hold the gasps* but I love the Thai curries they serve) to salads, I can be assured that I’m going to have a good meal. Portion sizes are kaafi big for me. Prices *may* burn a hole in your pocket (if you plan to eat on a regular basis), but their entire menu is properly “clean”, mostly  fat loss-friendly food without fake crap or sneaky ingredients, so that’s something you have to be okay with.

PLUS they list out nutritional information (WITH macros) so you can plan ahead, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Gelato,
GMT,
Indiranagar

Belgian dark chocolate, whiskey, raspberry, lemon, salted caramel, chilli chocolate, coffee, hazelnut, kahlua… whatnot gelato flavours. Expensive for the portion sizes, but the best damn chilled dessert I’ve had. Ever. I don’t get to go there as often as I’d like.

Disclaimer: No one paid me to say nice things about this place. . . . Do yourself a favor, listen to @lbbbangalore (whose article I found out about the place through), and go visit @gmtgelatos in Indiranagar. The flavors are sorta different from what we're used to, in the best possible way. This is the 🌶 chocolate (creamy, spicy, rich, weirdly addictive) and the next one 👉🏼 is the blackberry (tart, smooth). Gelato on a cone for the soul, really. The place is done up so tastefully too! . . . Relatively low in fat but possibly higher in sugar, 150INR-ish for a scoop on a cone, it'll have to be an indulgence reserved for a cheat day. BUT definitely worth it. Most certainly so. . . . . . #cookiereviews ifoundawesome #bangaloredairies #foodiesofbangalore #gelato #straightfromheaven #foodporn #foodreview #dessert #dessertforlunch #sweettoof

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I’ve ended up making so many memories, good and bad, in these places that they represent so much more than just the food to me. Not secret places, really, most of them have many, many regulars who swear by them, but ALL of them definitely worth visiting even if you live elsewhere in the city.

Ithu En Sabadam

I’m going to clean my kitchen, throw everything there is out, start from scratch and set it up in a way that is CONVENIENT (like all normal people), and make myself some paneer fucking parathas. SO tired of yearning for food that I know how to make but don’t make because my kitchen is a fucking black hole for groceries and because I’m terrified of wasting more food than I have already over the last few years.

SYW #6

Share Your World

You can have an unlimited supply of one thing for the rest of your life, what is it? Sushi? Scotch Tape?

Practically speaking? Water. Clean, chilled drinking water is super underrated, really. Think about it.

If we are fantasizing, I’d want an unlimited supply of gym memberships/trainers for the rest of my life, because I already have an unlimited supply of food and I want to be able to enjoy that without having to feel like myeahwhatisthepointofanything.  Because, lets face it, no matter how much you clean up your relationship with food and even if you stop eating your feelings, you WILL end up screwing with your macros every other day simply because MOST YUM THINGS ARE NOT REALLY THE BEST THINGS TO BE PUTTING IN YOUR BODY and deconditioning yourself to think of food as only fuel and not entertainment in a consumerist society is not the easiest thing.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to get ranty on you, this is stemming from the two Nutella bottles that I polished off between Wednesday and Sunday.

Teleportation or flying?

I’d rather apparate and risk splinching, than fly and risk motion sickness.
– Person who gets sick during car rides that last 10 minutes

Would you rather live where it only snows or the temperature never falls below 100 degrees?

Having lived all my life in a place where the temperature can hit 40 degrees (Celsius) during summers and never having experienced snow, I can safely say I’d rather be frostbitten than burnt to a crisp. I like sunny patches and great lighting, bright flowers everywhere, and tropical/semi-tropical fruits (MANGO SEASON FTW) but I don’t like them enough to deal with the miseries of summer (aka the migraines caused by the relentless heat, the constant ickiness from the constant sweating, the terrible need to leave the A/C on ALL the time or get burnt to aforementioned crisp).

The logic is simple: I can protect myself against the snow (I may not be able to walk around with five pairs of socks and three jackets on, but whatever), but I can’t combat the heat by taking off my clothes (even if that were socially acceptable, that is), or spend four months every year living out of a swimming pool, for that matter.

The sweet spot would be living in a place with year-round temperatures between 10 and 20 degrees (Celsius). But one doesn’t really get to live in sweet spots all the time, so I’ll settle happily for snow.

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Thanks for the questions, Cee!

The Collector Series #nonreview

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Descriptions here

The lead character of The Butterfly Garden (first of The Collector series) has one of the most messed up lives I’ve ever read about; every time you think how much worse can it get, the author manages to top it. I have to admit, at one point, I was worried for Ms. Hutchinson’s sanity (note: How can someone with as cute a name as Dot have such messed up stories in her head?). The next two books aren’t as bad, I think. Or maybe I became acclimatized to the violence? That scares me a little. Full props to the author for carrying something this dark off with minimal mess/without being absolutely OTT.

The plots aren’t the thickest, really. They might have medium-sized holes here and there. The stories might even be too much for some people to digest (because most of us read for entertainment, and if the chosen entertainment sends you down a spiral, it can’t count as entertainment anymore, right?). The series really should come with a trigger warning of some sort though.

I’m so used to the whitewashing of pop culture that I think I didn’t pick up on a lot of the characters’ diversity. When I did realize it later, I was pleasantly surprised.

I like the common threads that the author has woven through all three books seamlessly. I also like how the stories focus on one of three team members; it is not told from their perspectives, and the narration style varies slightly across the books, but all the little details are woven together inextricably and that appeals to me.

The book covers make me wish I had hard copies. Some characters make me wish I had them around in real life. Definitely recommended for people who take some sort of twisted interest in reading about the worst kinds of human beings and the damage they cause, on beautiful weekend mornings. Like me, apparently.

Thought swirls

The person I feel for the most is Justin. He probably does not deserve it, but I can’t help it. I was able to put my finger on the why of this only after I finished The Butterfly Garden (I’m not strong enough to even write a #nonreview for it); Inara Morrissey, the narrator of the story, had so much happen to her and most of it trickles down to the abject lack of adults who gave a shit.

Children need adults (parents, usually, but some parents can be assholes, so someone who can be their security blanket). Adults should hold them and tell them everything is going to be okay. No matter how old they are (I’m including YAs too here), they should have adults in their lives who make them feel like they’re capable, that they’re worthy, that they matter. They’ll grow up to be better adults for it. It doesn’t feel like its too much to ask for. Or is it?

And it breaks my heart to think that there are children out there, growing up without this basic comfort, this security.

P.S: I realize this is not coherent. Sorry. 

SYW #5

Share Your World

A piece of clothing from your younger childhood you still remember?

I had this onesie (very soft, white with little pink flowers on it) that my great grandfather’s pen pal in the US sent for me when she found out that his favorite granddaughter had had a baby.

When I was younger, I didn’t realize how special this was, this kind of relationship with a pen pal you’d never even met. Now I do. And I wish I had one.

I also wonder if we will ever go back to a time when we forge near-unconditional human connections for the heck of it (rather than for “likes” and “follows”).

Irregardless of your physical fitness, coordination or agility: If you could be an athlete what would do do? Remember this is SYW, dreaming is always allowed.

I want to lift heavy at some point in my life and make some mad PRs.
IF I ever find a trainer who will kick my butt so hard I’ll get over myself.

In a car would you rather drive or be a passenger?

I can’t drive to save my life, so I’d have to be content with being a passenger (this works to my advantage because guess who is in charge of the playlist… mwahahahaha).

BUT if it is a two-wheeler, I’d definitely prefer to ride.

Thanks for the questions, Cee.

Prizilllaaahh <3

I made one of my random, out-of-the-blue, I-didn’t-get-a-present-for-my-budday tattoo appointments last Friday (for today) and this morning, I woke up feeling sort of nervous. My first tattoo artist abandoned me when she left the country and I’m not happy with the second’s work. So this one I had the appointment with was brand new (of course, I’d stalked her on Instagram for a while and I love her work and her dogs) and I went on my usual spiral: I keep thinking these artist types are going to silently judge me for my sartorial choices (or lack thereof) or my tattoo choices (or lack thereof, again) or my nervous chatter (or lack thereof, yet again), or my…. whatever (you get the point). I keep thinking they’re judging me for one or all the above and work myself into a jitter until I actually meet them and find them to be nice enough.

But THEN I send myself BACK in the spiral: they are REQUIRED to be nice to me; they are still judging me no?

Guess what?

She ended up being a fucking panda masquerading as a human, who hugged me thrice and said “boobies” twice. Now I can’t remember what I was so nervous about.