Every January, I come up with a buttload of good intentions to live my life better.
Every July, I suddenly get chest pains about not having gotten anything done.
By September, I completely give up and call my life a failure.
By December, I’ve convinced myself that the next year is going to be My Year.
This year is not very different, I’m gearing up to label my life a failure.
But I do seem to have not spent all of the six months that have gone by sitting on my couch and half-watching random episodes of things I should have watched a long time ago, while trying hard not to engage with abusive fuckbois on Ludo Online.
What I HAVE done includes (but is not limited to):
- Reading 48 books (I’m still behind on my Goodreads challenge but wtf? this is the most I’ve ever read in my adult life :O. And very less crap too, 90% of the books have been 3 stars at the very least). For someone who found it difficult to “find time” to read in 2014, I’ve come a long way
- Posting 182 photos on Instagram for my Project 365. Oh man, I can’t even. For someone who has had major commitment issues with any kind of posting anywhere (if you followed my old blog, you’d know the number of projects I’ve started and dropped), this is MAJOR progress. I have hope for me yet 😛
- Starting to save (HOLY CANOLI WHO AM I). Despite making a couple of extravagant choices, I have savings, bruh, SAVINGS 😀
- Writing (hello new blog). I wrote for the heck of it, when I wanted to, about what I felt like. While nothing I wrote is literary genius, the exercise made me happy. I looked forward to what little engagement that happens, rather than being driven to anxiety. I didn’t constantly refresh the stats page, nor felt pressure to return comments/follows. AND I LOVE IT. This is what I started blogging for, and I’m glad I found my way back to this feeling, despite everything. Nothing else works for me. And I owe almost all of this courage/epiphany/resolve to one single blog: Gobblefunksite
- Buying my first bottle of good whisky. After 3-4 years of swinging wildly between whisky-habit-is-for-rich-people chindiness or paying 400 bucks for 30 diluted ml of liquor at pubs, it feels like I have arrived, really 😀
- Getting promoted. Not my first but I have “senior” added to my title now as a reward for slogging for ungrateful corporates for 5 years. It doesn’t mean much in the bigger picture, but you know, cheap thrills
What I have failed miserably at:
- Fixing my relationship with food. Q2 2018 has been tough, mental health wise and I’m eating my feelings, starting from one end and coming out through the other, and this is ruining all my progress 😥 Any advice for me?
- Yelling less. Oh man, this Shy set me off this path late last year and come January, I resolved to not vent my spleen when something went wrong, but I’ve to report that I’ve crashed and burned spectacularly at this multiple times
- Swearing less. With a new baby in the family, I’m so so conscious of how much I cuss, and I can’t seem to get a handle on it. Rather, I try only when I’m around said baby. I really need to stop before she swears at her parents and tells them I taught her to, and then her parents proceeding to disown me
- Journaling. I started at the beginning of the year and burned out by mid-March. I want to restart it, but the fact that three months’ worth will be missing from it in the middle is making the Type A in me not restart it *rolls eyes so hard*
There are other points under both headings but these are the highlights. Can’t wait to see what else makes me bawl and what I kick some serious ass at.